365 of 365

Hours away and we’re already at 2019 but before we totally say goodbye to 2018, I want to share with you how my 2018 went.

I swear 2018 was the most challenging year for me. It was pretty rough. January was just full of hopes and motivation until February came and all of those anticipations were starting to fade. It was on February where I was kind of brokenhearted for the fact that I was left behind by my boyfriend. He had a trip to Japan and I wasn’t able to come with him due to many reasons. One, I have classes and I can’t afford to skip a week or more. Second, I don’t have a passport and visa. Third, I don’t have money. The feeling I felt while he was gone for over a week was strange-not just for me but for him too. It was frightening that it was a foreign feeling for us.

March went by fast with all the deadlines and all the things I have to do just for me to be cleared for the semester. Summer was fast approaching. But as an almost graduating student, I need to take summer classes by April to May. Yup, I had no choice. I have to. For me to have a lighter load for June since I’ll be having my thesis for June.

So yeah, we had to transfer homes and it was in the middle of my summer class. I did all the adjusting and I would really say it was super tiring! I would wake up 3 hours earlier than the usual time I would wake up from our old address. Our new address was farther so I had to adjust my timeframe and I got an 8 to 3pm schedule Monday to Friday and I handled 2 major subjects and 1 minor for that summer. I thought it would be easy but I was wrong. It’s hard to take a supposed to be 6 months lesson for only a month. Shorter time means more assignments and projects. I was really bombarded that summer and I didn’t know how I made it.

June came by and I had to face my fear. Our thesis. I need to pass that for me to be able to get an internship by October and graduate by March. I am super good in procrastinating and I don’t know how I got here. All I could remember is that I motivated myself enough to continue writing, face the panels and defend our paper. It was the hardest part. Writing something I don’t know, writing something I don’t like. But I did. I needed to. It was the longest 6 months or 1 semester in my whole college life. That paper was bothering my life until second sem, October! If you’ve been reading my tea talk series, you knew already that we sacrificed everything for my thesis to the point that we had our lights cut off just for me to be able to pass the subject. It was also in October that I got my first ever real-paying job.

By November, it was still a rough month. It was my birth month and I even forgot because of the new schedule I had. I had to work at night and study at day. I started to experience going to school with only 30 mins or less sleep or worse none. I’m not a coffee drinker so thanks to all those sweet things I ate just to keep me awake. Btw, our electricity was still not reconnected for the month of November. Life was really hard. Now that I am an intern and a graduating student, we have to sacrifice again because graduating student means more and lots of due payments.

In December, we still didn’t have electricity. I still lack sleep. I’m still working and studying at the same time. It was in this month where I forgot taking care of myself. I started my in-house ojt duty this month. It was the hardest week of my life ever. If you’ve read my blogmas, then you knew already that week 10 to 14 was the hardest. I had to go to work 10pm to 7am and go to duty at school by 8am to 5pm. I had no time to sleep. I almost died. And thank God I still made it to Christmas. Days before Christmas, I was removed at work and was jobless up to now. I was not saddened by it, instead felt happy because I could finally sleep. By Christmas, we just ate a simple dinner in dim lights of a flashlight with my mother. It was a sad and lonely Christmas for us both but nevermind, at least we got each other’s back. Now we’re planning that before 2019 come, we already paid our bills. I don’t want to celebrate new year in the dark again.

But I really don’t know why all of these happened. Looking back at all the things that’s happened to me this year, it makes my heart ache. It was really hard. I wanted to cry but I was too tired to do it. 2018 is not my year. I remembered asking God for a plot twist somewhere at august and he gave me this. It was really indeed a plottwist. Never did i imagine we’ll be celebrating Christmas or even New Year with no lights on and only with my mom. I learned lots of lessons for this year. I realized that time really flies so fast. I realized that i had too much for the year 2018.

2018 was full of pain, sadness, tears, troubles and negativeness but there were also glances that i was happy. It was a wild ride. A roller coaster of emotions. I faced it. I made it through. Now, even if i’m ready or not, i have to face another year and this time i’m hoping that 2019 will be my year.

How about you? Did 2018 brought you the plot twist you’ve been looking for? How was your 2018?

I could say that this year was a rough one and for those who also had a rough year, I just want to say that you did well this year and you deserve a pat on the back for a job well done.

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