I am officially unemployed and I have a lot of time to spare while waiting for my schedule of job interviews so here it is another blog post! I was still having a hang-over of my recent graduation rites last month so I just thought to make some highlights on the most memorable things in my 4-year journey in college.
1. The News
I could still remember the moment when I received the results of my high school progress examination that I will finally graduate at high school after 5 long years. I repeated the last year since it was at that time that I was engaged in bad company and I was greatly influenced. I was even at a drinking session when I received the news that I will finally be going to college.
2. The Application
I enrolled myself late since the news arrived late too and I had to decide what course I should take right on the spot, in front of a student volunteer and a lot of people queuing on the line. I was in deep pressure but I decided to give Bachelor of Arts in English a try. It was a stressful process. I was in shock about how the school’s application system is a mess. Good thing my mom accompanied me with it and I was officially enrolled after 2 to 3 days.
3. The First Schedule
Since I’m a late enrollee, expect that my schedule would be one of the worst. I could remember my first load was super exhausting. My class starts at 8 in the morning and ends at 8 in the evening too. It was because of a huge vacant time in my schedule. Imagine having 6 hours as my vacant time! I didn’t know at first that this would be so tiring, instead, I was so happy since I have the time to go to bars or malls or everywhere with my so-called “barkadas.”
4. My First Semester
This was I think the oldest and longest semester that I could still clearly remember. It was in this semester that I had to go to school with only 30 minutes of 💤, not because I was working, but because I was from a drinking session with my friends. I swear I’m that alcoholic that I would even skip classes or attend classes tipsy or even drunk. Sure, it was fun and memorable but as time passed by, it became so exhausting in my part. The consequences of my rebellion are not absent, of course, I experienced going to school with only 20 pesos in my purse because my mom won’t give my allowance unless I go home right after my classes—which is very hard for me to do that time because I was so dependent to my “friends.” I also remembered attending to my 8am class which is by the way “College Algebra” and still had hangovers. Thanks to my classmates that time for letting me eat hot cup noodles in the room before our professor would arrive. Thank you for letting me copy your notes and even answers during quizzes and exams. Thank you for all those friends who treated me a meal just so because I was learning and going to school with an empty stomach. Thank you for covering me up when I had to skip classes. Thank you for making me excuse letters just because I am nearly dropped out of my subjects due to over-absences. Thank you, friends.
5. The Wound
The first semester is almost ending the time I got into an accident. I was honestly in a bar when it happened. I was in the bar’s bathroom when I tripped over a chipped ceramic 🚽. It was a broken 🚽 that was dumped on one corner of the room. I didn’t notice that it has a sharp edge so I budged into one of those sharp edges and I ripped the skin on my right foot. At first, I thought it was just an ordinary wound because I got it Saturday night and I was still able to go overnight at a friend’s 🏠 and go to the 🏖️ by Sunday. It was really not bothering me at all until it was Monday already and I am supposed to attend a school recollection. It started to swell, produce white to yellow puss and hurt really bad. I almost had a fever and my mom was alarmed. It was infected and it was a deep wound. It needed to be stitched, I was even advised by the school clinic to have myself injected with anti-tetanus. I was suffering for over a month. I go to school wearing shoes either struggling on walking or wearing slippers instead of shoes. It was the most devastating wound I ever had.
After my first semester and that great wound, I finally had the time to realize that I’m up to no good and I always bring trouble to my family. I realized too that my mom, being a single mom, is hard especially financing me in everything I need and I don’t know how to value her sacrifices and efforts just to provide what I need. I was still having a hard time to say no to friends, invites to go tripping at bars, and overnights but I was starting to avoid it. Change is not done in an instant; it is a process I believe.
7. The Unexpected Person
When I was in the process of changing myself into a good student and daughter, I met quite a few people who helped me in the change that I want for myself and my life but it wasn’t really that successful since they sometimes tolerate me with some bad habits I have. It was the first month of the year 2016, I was still not fully reformed yet but I met him. He was the guy who tamed me, helped me and never judged me with all the wrong decisions I made in the past. He was extraordinary. He was there in every process and hardships I had to face. He accompanied me to the real, harsh 🌍. He came in a most unexpected way and in a most unacceptable time. I never imagined that a man would come in a field of boys were at that time I was surrounded with. He was my boyfriend.
8. The Transition
My change was still on the process even with having a boyfriend at this point of time but it was easier. I had no regrets and second thoughts on removing people that are as toxic as everybody else’s. I was removing people one-by-one with no exceptions may it be a close friend or enemy. I started to shut my 🌍 to the people who were so used to 👀 me do things in public. I became private of my life and I didn’t allow anyone to interfere with my life again except for my family and boyfriend. It was hard at first to let go of lots of friendships but it was not helping me anymore. I don’t want to live the same. I don’t want the same influence that doesn’t contribute to my growth. I wanted more than fake friendships and alcohols.
9. The Pre-challenges
I was really close to the change that I really wanted. I started to be a good student; I was diverting my attention to other things rather than surround myself with fake people. I started to 👀 other beauties in the 🌍 rather than alcohols and bars. I started engaging myself with new people. I was really starting to be fully reformed. Until one day, I received a chat message. It was from him, he was at the 🏥. He had dengue and I was so devastated about the news. I arrived in his room with only 50 platelets. He was really starting to get worse. I was in my complete school uniform when I visited him since I have still classes at night. It was really painful to 👀 him with all these needles in his ✋. It was traumatic and I had a hard time concentrating at school. I was able to come back a day after my first visit. I felt so much regret not visiting him the other day because the second time I decided to visit, he only had 1 platelet. I spent my whole day in his room, just looking at him 😴 peacefully, holding his bruised hands and just 🙏 to spare him. I wasn’t able to eat properly because I was choking on my 😢 which I tried to hide for the whole day. I went home super devastated. It was the time that I went kneeling, 🙏 and 😭 to God to spare him. I promised God that if he ever gives me the chance, I will totally change, keep him, and take good care of him. Thankfully, he recovered and I will never forget that experience.
10. The Change
After that traumatic and painful experience, I was more vigilant about what I do and I started to look closely on my attitudes. I started to ask him things that might not be too good and I was really thankful that he says what I needed to hear. At first, it did hurt but I realized that all those blunt words were for my good. I had anxieties and culture shock when I finally had the change. It was hard. Really hard. But I have him and my family. It took me a lot of confrontations from him and my family to finally realize that not all the time I’m correct. I make wrong things and I must deal with it, not in a way a girl will but instead, a woman should.
11. The Hardships
I realized that after that change, time became so fast and only the hardships that are memorable enough are the things that I could still remember. A college journey would not be complete without the usual and most unusual hardships, may it be from family, expenses, friends, teachers, personal, and mental. I could not mention all of the hardships I had in my 4 years but if you’re reading my tea talk series, you would know that I was really having a hard time back then and until now. Looking back, I realized that I became a strong, reformed woman and it was all thanks to the help of my mom and my boyfriend. Of course, the change would not be possible if you, yourself would not cooperate.
12. The Success
I couldn’t declare yet the true success since I only graduated from college and I’m still unemployed. I still don’t have my own 🚗, own 🏠, and own business but this success is one step closer to my dreams. I believe that in order to gain success, one must undergo hardships but everything won’t work if you will not help yourself. Indeed, success is only for those who persevere.